Lying to Yourself
by femalemiroku1
Summary: Harry's fallen into the depressed state. His friends try to help me over all his saddness, while battling out their sixth year. A new love blooms between two surprising characters.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Harry sat in Potions class adding shriveled snake skins into his cauldron. When he finished, he placed his chin to rest on the palm of his hand and let out a great big sigh.

"Mr. Potter," a low growling voice drawled from behind him. Harry looked up to face Professor Severus Snape looming over him like an owl watching over his dinner. "You wouldn't have to stay after class IF you had done the potion correctly the FIRST time."

Harry rolled his eyes when he turned to watch his potion brew. It really hadn't been his fault, he had added the correct ingredients but SOMEBODY, who shall remain nameless, made his arm lose balance when he was adding "spit of newt" and made the cauldron fall which in turn spilled great amounts of yellow acid to the floor and terrorized the wooden tables. So, Snape told Harry to stay after until he made the potion WITHOUT any mess-ups.

"I finished Professor," Harry said, standing up and gathering his stuff.

Snape leered at him from his desk. "Well, then bring it over. I'm not going to waist my time by walking to YOU, boy."

Harry didn't say anything. He just stopped with his stuff, picked up the steaming cauldron, and brought it carefully over to Snape. "Here," he said.

Snape waved him off. "Go on boy, leave. I'm sure you wouldn't want to stay and see me frown in disgust at this potion."

Harry nodded.

"I can't believe that OAF of a teacher made you stay after for a stupid potion." Ron said as he slammed his fork down on the table.

"Well I could, I mean the potion was an important part of our grades."

"You think everything is important to our grades, Hermione."

Hermione leaned over the morning post she was reading at the table. "That's because it is, Ronald. This IS our sixth year and probably the most important of them all. We should be giving it all we got."

Ron looked over at Harry. He was staring at his plate before him. The eggs and toast and bacon were untouched. "What do YOU think about this year, Harry?" Ron waited for him to answer. "Harry? Hello? Anbod-OW! Hermione!"

Hermione looked at Ron through slit eyes. "Can't you tell that Harry's thinking you idiot?" She muttered as she folded the paper to get a better look at Harry. "You ok there Harry?"

"Oh! So it's ok if YOU-OW!"

Ron silenced, afraid to be hit again and both of them looked at Harry. Apparently he felt their eyes on him because he looked up at them. His eyes were not as lively as they once were. The glow in his face was replaced by a paleness of the sickest kind. He had bags underneath his eyes as purple as a newly formed bruise from Quidditch practice. His stare was blank and no smile had formed on his face. "What?" he lazily said.

"What do you-OW! I mean it Hermione, if you don't stop that-"

"Ron! Shut up for a moment," Hermione nudged. "Harry," she said quickly changing her tone to a motherly one. "Is everything ok?"

Harry shrugged. "Yeah, Herms, I'm fine. Don't worry." He stood up and waved them off as he walked out of the great hall. He walked through the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and made his way to the Womping Willow. "Imobilis," he muttered, pointing his wand to the tree limbs. They stopped as Harry walked past the limbs and climbed into the hole at the base of the tree. He slid down the short tunnel and sat there for a moment. He then walked the rest of the way to the room of the "shrieking shack" that he had visited in his third year. He then sat at the torn bed and placed his head in his hands and rested them on his knees.

Then he cried.

"Sirius," he sniffed. "I need help." he pleaded. "I had a nightmare last night. It was about him," Harry hesitated. "Voldemort, he was terrorizing students. He had escaped into the castle and was hexing people left to right. And I...I was....." He gulped and sighed. "I was lying in my bed, torn to pieces, dead." Harry broke down. He hugged his knees to his chest and bawled. "It's...not....fair....Why was I chosen? Why did MY parents have to die? Why? WHY?! Damn it, someone......anyone? Please I need help. I can't take him on, not on my own. I'll die if I do. Aaaaagh!" He didn't hold anything in anymore. He screamed, screamed like the crutatious curse was sent upon him. The shrieking shack lived up to its name.

It wasn't until night had fallen that Harry had left the Womping Willow. He had not eaten at all that day. He just stayed in the shrieking shack crying and screaming, eventually falling asleep on the torn bed. 'Everyone must be worried about me,' he thought, on account that he DID have classes today. He made his way back up to the castle, past the water fountain, past the bridge, past the great hall doors that stood open.

"Harry!"

"Mr. Potter!" Two voices shrieked from in front of him. Harry looked up slowly to see the scrunched up face of Professor McGonagall and the worried smart face of Hermione. He stopped when he noticed them and they quickly walked to him. "Mr. Potter! This is outrageous; you leaving the castle for god know's where for the whole day. Do you know that it is one hour after hours!? Hm? That will be 120 points from Gryffindor, Harry Potter! What do you have to say for yourself?"

Harry looked up into Pro. McGonagall's eyes and stared for a minute before he spoke, "I was busy." He brushed past the Professor and kept walking to the Gryffindor tower.

Hermione was aghast. She turned to Professor McGonagall, "I'm sorry, he's been this way since this morning. I'll talk to him." She raced off after the golden boy. "Harry! Wait up!"

"Why? So you can yell at me too? Just let it go Hermione. I lost Gryffindor house points, I'm not in the best moods, and I would really like to go to sleep, IF you don't mind."

Hermione stopped and watched Harry's retreating back. "Harry...." She sighed.

"Something's wrong with him Ron."

"No duh, Hermione. Why don't you go ask him what's wrong?" Ron said in the Gryffindor Common room. "You're so good at butting in to people's lives."

"I do not BUTT in to people's lives. I try to HELP them. There's a difference." Hermione said smugly.

Ron rolled his eyes and looked at the stairs leading the boys' dorm. He faked a yawn and turned to Hermione. "I think I'm gonna turn it tonight, night Herms."

"You better not ask Harry what's wrong, Ronald," she scowled.

"Scouts honor," Ron smiled as he crossed his fingers behind his back.

Ron slowly opened the door to his dorm and carefully walked inside, afraid to wake Harry. "I'm awake, Ron." This made Ron jump and look to the curtains surrounding Harry's bed.

"Blimey Harry. You scared me." He said clutching his chest.

"Good."

"........Harry? What's wrong? You've been acting strange all day. You haven't eaten anything."

"How do you know that I haven't eaten anything? I could have gotten food from the kitchens anytime."

Ron sighed and walked to Harry's bed. He pulled back to the curtain to reveal Harry Potter sitting up and looking at a photo album; a few pieces of paper torn up. "That would be kinda hard if you're in the shrieking shack all day."

Harry whipped his head up. "How you know about that?" Shock written on his face.

Ron smiled, "Because I thought, 'where would Harry go if he was acting weird? Oh yeah! The only place he feels normal. With his Godfather.' and BAM, I ended up at the Womping Willow which was suspiciously not moving. Then I heard what I thought was a scream and figu-"

"Look, I don't care if you know that I was there, ok? Jeez." He went back to his album.

Silence filled the dorm which was broken by Ron. "That was you screaming, wasn't it? Were you crying." Ron moved some pieces of paper and sat down on the edge of Harry's bed, holding the torn paper. He flipped them over to see that it was a torn picture. The people came back into the frame crying and looking mad. There were a woman and two men. "Harry? Are these-"

"Give that to me!' Harry yelled, making a grab for the pieces. "They're mine!"

"Harry!" Ron yelled as he tried to fight Harry off with one arm. "Nock it off! Get off me!" He pushed Harry so that he hit the pillow that he was resting on. "Is this a picture of your mum, dad, and of Sirius? Answer me!"

Harry looked pitiful right now. He was leaning his back against the pillow with his head hanging low, shaking it over and over, with no audio.

"Harry?" Ron panted.

"Yes," he breathed. "Yes, it's them. I don't want them," he said shaking his head more, bringing his hands to cover his ears.

"The picture?"

"The people! I don't want them! I don't want this curse! I hate it all, I hate them all, my mum, dad, AND Sirius. They all had to die for me and I can't do anything about it! They were all stupid to save me! I SHOULD HAVE JUST DIED THAT NIGHT!" Harry couldn't hold anything together anymore. He began to cry in front of Ron, bawling like a baby. He couldn't hold it inside anymore. "All the nightmares are making it worse, damn it!" He buried his head in his pillow.

Ron's eyes softened at Harry's weak form. Tears welling up in his eyes at Harry's yelling. He stood up and walked over to the other side of the bed where Harry lay crying. He sat down and pulled Harry from the pillow and hugged him. Harry wrapped his arms around Ron's waist and hugged tightly and cried more. "It's not fair, Ron!"

Ron cradled him. "I know, but something's in life aren't always fair. It's ok Harry. I promise, it's gonna be ok."

Harry fell asleep in Ron's embrace after all his crying and all Ron could do was let him sleep. He carefully moved Harry's legs and laid himself on Harry's bed, which he was still holding onto Ron's stomach for dear life, too afraid that he would fall if he let go. Ron closed the curtains around Harry's bed and drifted in to a deep sleep.


End file.
